When you have lived a life full of suffering, one gets to know it is filled with everything. The dark corners within our psyche yearns for light to embrace it but the light or the white is too biased and scared to explore and illuminate these spots. So one remains in the dark for long, festering growing its roots and tentacles dense. If we don’t connect with these emotions, feelings, sensations with patience and understanding – they act out in the most perverted ways of violence and harm to self and others. However, if we are courageous and brave enough to dive deep within, and stay there, observe without judgement – we see it clearly for what it is. A reservoir of untapped creativity, compassion and wisdom. It is not in the shallow white surface that one finds the most precious jewel. It is in the depth, cutting and penetrating through all the hardness that at the center of this depth that one finds the shining jewel that has formed as a result of the pressure and the tension.
Audre Lorde says it the best :
For each of us as women, there is a dark place within where hidden and growing our true spirit rises, “Beautiful and tough as chestnut/stanchions against our nightmare of weakness” and of impotence.
These places of possibility within ourselves are dark because they are ancient and hidden; they have survived and grown strong through darkness. Within these deep places, each one of us holds an incredible reserve of creativity and power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion and feeling. The woman’s place of power within each of us is neither white nor surface; it is dark, it is ancient, and it is deep.
When we view living, in the european mode, only as a problem to be solved, we then rely solely upon our ideas to make us free, for these were what the white fathers told us were precious.
But as we become more in touch with our own ancient, black, non-european view of living as a situation to be experienced and interacted with, we learn more and more to cherish our feelings, and to respect those hidden sources of our power from where true knowledge and therefore lasting action comes.
Our task in the soul journey is to dive in with courage, faith and trust to dig that jewel within us. In Buddha-dharma, we talk of Buddha-nature which is an awakened enlightened quality of our inherent nature that shines like a jewel which has been covered up by the dust of karmic experiences of our journey. If we can get honest with how easily distracted we are every moment, we can understand how easy it is for the dust of confusion in forms of thoughts, sensations, feelings, and concepts to settle on our Buddha-nature and cover it up with identification with the dusts.